Coffee From My Optic, t.DeAngelo
Thousands of years from now, if an alien race were to scan through the human archives of Facebook, or any other human social media platform, without doubt, our green martian friends would come across the phrase “sweet nectar of the gods, coffee.” I can also guarantee, many of the posts on said nectar would be in some form of a meme. If they went on to do an alien Google Search for “what’s the big deal, coffee,” our bug-eyed friends would find at least ten other articles titled word-for-word “Coffee, What’s the big deal?”, hence the “Revisited.” So I’ll ask it again, why is it such a big deal? Is it the taste, economic gain, brew process, or perhaps the “big deal” is due to the physiological effect it has on the human race?
When one becomes a coffee snob, they realize when served-up a cup of Joe from either an office or restaurant, even when sweetened, it can taste like cardboard, bland, no notes with a bitter after taste. Pre-snob, though, it’s fair to say that even the crappiest cup of coffee is complex and challenging to describe as a taste other than coffee, but overall good. However, keep in mind many drinkers will dress-up the hot brew to the point where the coffee taste is barely noticeable. So with exception to the few snobs, the vast majority of us drink an okay to a good cup of coffee, and in my opinion, solely the taste alone doesn’t make coffee a “FB and Meme rage,” big deal.
So what else would our green friends learn? According to the most recent NCA study, coffee is one of the most traded agricultural commodities in the world, and in the U.S., consumption is at a higher rate than tap water. The same study suggests coffee, as of 2015, represented 1.6% of the U.S. GDP (~225 billion). If that number held today, it would be higher since the U.S. GDP is estimated at 21.4 trillion now; this would estimate the coffee GDP in the ~300 billion neighborhood. That figure falls near Columbia’s total GDP by the way. Double-check my math, but keep in mind while doing so, turn your smartphone sideways because you’ll need 12 zeros! Does this suggest that coffee is a big deal because of the global economic impact? I’d say no since most of the folks posting the memes are not profiting from the sweet juice.
So back to the question, what’s the big deal? Digging a little further, let’s take a quick look at the origin and the general process of brewing coffee. Concerning origin, the consensus is that the earliest recording of coffee cultivation is between the 9th and 15th centuries. Dancing goats came up several times during my research. Go figure. I’ve also come across a loosely supported article dating human coffee consumption back to 520BC. I wouldn’t rule it out, who knows. For each instance, the brewing process described involved the bean, roasting, and brewing. Very simple and straight forward. My point is, for the vast majority of coffee drinkers both then and now, they all follow and share relatively the same general principles of brewing.
Yes, I know, coffee snobs reading this would like to chuck a hot coffee broiler at my face right now. Bear with me, please. Historically speaking, I’m well aware and appreciative of how both regarded and prestigious the barista profession was. I’m also educated and enthusiastic about the extraordinarily complex formulas and chemistry tied to bean, roast, and brew processes. I’m also intimately familiar with the importance of precision in both brew temperature and pressure, bean outgassing, grind, dosage, tamp psi., etc., etc., etc. All of that aside, by and large, you have two types of beans, Arabica and Robusto (yes, I know there are two others), and generally four types of roasts, Light to Extra Burnt. There are as many complexities of taste in coffee as there are barista schools in the United States; however, despite the emergence of the sophisticated coffee process, I can’t say the general processes related to coffee consumption make it such a big deal.
All points given brings us to the final possibility of the big deal, and that is, the effects coffee has on our bodies. As you may know, when consumed, coffee delivers Caffeine, the drug. In turn, Caffeine serves as a stimulant affecting our Central Nervous System. It has a “noticeable” effect on alertness and is the most common ingredient to treat drowsiness, headaches, and migraines. Other stimulants include bennies, black beauties, crosses, hearts, LA turnaround, speed, truck drivers, and uppers. Not sure what all those are, but in some way, I’m sure they can be lumped into three categories Cocaine, Meth, and Ritalin. Either way, I can say with certainty that human physiology has not changed in the last few thousand years, and Caffeine probably has the same level of effect on our body today,
Understanding this helps guide me closer to answering the question. I can’t say for certain it may be a blend of the four, (taste, economic benefit, fun process of coffee brewing, or physiology), however, I can say for sure, today’s day and age, we’re working longer and harder, and we need the pick me up, and crappy tasting or not; I need my coffee, and I’ll pay dearly for it. So back off aliens, and don’t bother me until I get my coffee!
